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About a month ago, actress Samantha Ruth Prabhu took to social media to share that she was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition called Myositis. The rare disorder leads to muscle weakness and pain. Director Vikram Bhatt, too, has been quietly fighting a health crisis himself. He was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia 18 years ago, a chronic disorder characterised by widespread muscle pain. It is often accompanied by fatigue and altered sleep, memory and mood. Moved by Samantha’s post, he decided to break his silence, hoping to give strength to the actress and many who suffer from these rare disorders.
In a conversation with BombayTimes he said, “I have been suffering for the past 18 years. In Samantha’s case, Myositis leads to weakness of muscles, and in my case, Fibromyalgia leads to intense muscle pain. You process pain differently. What may not be painful for a normal person is very painful for me. There is no cure for either of the disorders, as it’s your body attacking you. There are days when you have flare-ups, and there are days when you are better. Only metaphysical things like meditation or good sleep can help. I have been lucky to have a good support system, but it’s hard. It has been a tough journey that has taken a lot out of me but has also made me stronger. I want to reach out to Samantha and tell her that if I can make it, so can you. I am so glad she spoke up. Hiding takes as much strength as fighting the pain.”
Diagnosis and treatment wasn’t easy though. He explained, “In the first four years when it was detected, I didn’t know myself what was going on. You get migraines, body ache, depression. You think they are all different illnesses and you try to cure them separately. A physiotherapist friend of mine, Dr. Rashi Agrawal, helped me diagnose this condition as Fibromyalgia. She was the one who detected it as I used to go for physiotherapy and I just wasn’t getting any better. Some doctors even told me that it’s all in your mind and Fibromyalgia doesn’t exist. There is a part of the medical community that says it’s just a state of mind. Only the person who suffers the pain knows how severe it can be. I also went to a doctor in Los Angeles for treatment, who helped me a lot but ultimately it’s also your lifestyle. You can only take these many painkillers. I ensure I go to bed early and get at least 7-8 hours of sleep, cut down on things that cause stress. I don’t drink or smoke either.”
Vikram says, “Whether it’s depression, Fibromyalgia, anxiety or Myositis, there should not be any kind of stigma attached to these things. I urge people not to suffer alone. I want them to come out and say, ‘this is me’. That will take the burden off your chest.” Diagnosis and treatment weren’t easy, though. He explained, “In the first four years when it was detected, I didn’t know myself what was going on. You experience migraines, body ache and depression. You think they are all different illnesses, and you try to cure them separately.”
Beyond spirituality and a better lifestyle, it was some good writing that kept Vikram going. “There were two poems that helped me immensely while coping with this health condition. One was Harivansh Rai Bachchan’s Agnipath, and the other was Invictus, the poem that kept Nelson Mandela alive in prison. Not only alive but gave him hope and determination. I know these poems by heart.
I have even written to Mr Amitabh Bachchan to tell him that his father’s poem was my source of strength and constant inspiration. Incidentally, I was a chief assistant on his film Agneepath in my younger days. I never knew that this poem that I am hearing or the film that I am working on will be the centrepiece of strength for me in future.”
While showbiz and fame can be blinding, Vikram isn’t oblivious to reality. He is aware that most privileged people can still afford to take a break to get better while common people end up suffering in silence. He argued, “I am happy that people are talking about their physical and mental battles. However, it’s mostly the successful people who are talking about it. I don’t want to take anything away from the people who are talking about it. When you are in a position of power or success and then talk about an ailment, people are still forgiving. Deepika Padukone has spoken about anxiety issues, Ileana D’Cruz about body image issues… I must congratulate them. My experience was slightly different. When you are just a director and have no production house of your own, you are worried that if people find out about your ailment, they might not give you the job. How will you survive? These thoughts consume you and you keep quiet. I want to tell everyone that even people with Fibromyalgia can work.”
Talking about the support he had received from his colleagues, he added, “In the film industry, I have had the good fortune of working with some actors and crew members who understand my problem and know what it takes for me to get through the day. They have always been supportive and empathetic. They don’t need to, but they are, and I am extremely thankful to them. There are also those who don’t give a damn, and why should they. If I am paid to direct, then I am supposed to make a film. It’s business, so no hard feelings. Filmmaking is not charity. If I choose to enter the ring, I need to fight. You can’t be a gladiator with problems, can you?”
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