New Delhi: It’s Valentine’s Day and love is in the air! Yes, relationships are fun and exciting, but they can also get complicated and messy.
For example, if you are in a relationship, you may have pondered upon its future and if you’re single but looking, you may be wondering what person would be right for you.
To answer these pressing questions, we spoke to Damini Grover, a counselling psychologist, life coach & founder I’M Powered-Center for Counseling and Well-being, about how to know if you’ve found the one and when it’s time to take the next step.
How do you know he/she is a keeper?
Damini tells us that we must keep in mind how we feel in a relationship as that is very important. They may be a good person but if we are not comfortable or vibing together it won’t be good for the long run, she says.
Another way to know if they’re a keeper is to observe how they are treating you.
Damini suggests a few questions to ask yourself: Do they make an effort to meet you? Are they emotionally invested? Do they want to be friends with your friends? Do they remember things about you? Do they express small gestures to show they are thinking about you? Do you feel safe and comfortable with this person?
What are the important green flags in a relationship?
Speaking about green flags, Damini explains, “They should understand your emotional needs. If they call you too sensitive or emotional, it’s not a green flag. A major green flag would be if they are able to talk and resolve conflicts, respect your boundaries.”
She adds, “They won’t push you into things if you’re uncomfortable. Also, they must be interested in sharing themselves with you.”
“Make sure they aren’t asking a lot from you and that you aren’t in fear of them. Also, steer away from people using you as a rebound,” Damini suggests.
What is a big sign they AREN’T the one?
An obvious sign, Damini reveals is if they demean you or even subtly humiliate you in any way.
“If they don’t understand your emotional needs, like if you want them to be there if you want them to call you if you want them to meet you often, but they’re too busy with other things and they make you feel that you are not the priority for them. Then, clearly, they are not the one for you,” she says.
Is there anything that’s not noticed usually but is a hugely positive thing in a life partner?
Damini explains the ultimate question to ask yourself which people often miss out: “Are you on the same physical, intellectual financial wavelength or not? And are your life goals aligned or not?”
She adds, “Another important to notice is to see whether your partner really has the intent of making a relationship work because relationships don’t work by themselves. Both people need to be mindful. They need to be very, very intentional about making it work.”
When do you know – it’s time to take the next big step?
Wondering if you should take your relationship to the next level? Instead of looking at social standards, Damini advises us to turn that attention inwards and ask ourselves, what is it that I want? Am I happy with my partner? Can I see a future with my partner? Can I at least envision it? Can I put my trust in my partner?
So, the more self-aware you are of your own needs, the easier it will be to figure out whether you were ready to take the next step with this person or not.