‘Wise men say, only fools rush in…’ she began with the lyrics of the Elvis Presley song and said, “Fahad and I certainly rushed into marriage, but were friends for 3 years prior. It was a love neither of us noticed blossoming, perhaps because the differences between us were many.”
Emphasizing the stark contrasts that initially set them apart, she went on to state that their love grew thanks to their friendship, shared values and mutual respect. She wrote, “Hindu-Muslim was only the most obvious. I’m older than Fahad and we come from different worlds: a big city girl from an ethnically mixed English speaking family and a small town boy from a traditional Western UP family that speaks Urdu and Hindustani. I’m an actress in Hindi films, he’s a research scholar, activist and politician. But our liberal arts education and values gave us a shared language of political beliefs and a common vision for our society and country. We met at the CAA-NRC protests in December 2019 and even organised one together. Slowly, we became close confidants.”
Recalling the pivotal moment when they contemplated marriage, Bhasker recounted Ahmad’s unwavering confidence and candidness. “He said though we were worlds apart, we were very compatible, he was very fond of me and if I waited 2-3 years for him to ‘settle’ we could marry. I was stunned but also disarmed by his confidence and candour.”
Yet, Bhasker acknowledged the internal struggles and external pressures they faced, particularly in confronting societal norms and potential backlash. “I always thought I had gone beyond the log kya kahenge mentality, but suddenly, I was worrying about how family, friends, filmy acquaintances and even my ever-loyal trolls would react. I had to face the secret shadows in my heart. Amazingly, Fahad could read my unspoken fears and we worked through them. Our families were concerned, but we stood by our love. Our shocked parents accepted our BIG decision, though hesitantly and after gently laying out concerns. When they met us together, I think they felt reassured.”
Reflecting on their joyous celebration, Bhasker fondly recalled the cultural richness and familial warmth that permeated their festivities, culminating in a vibrant cultural extravaganza reminiscent of a mahotsav.
“We were married under the SMA one year ago today. Fittingly, a relationship that began at a protest to preserve the Constitution was solemnised under constitutional provisions.”
She concluded her note saying, “A month later (I was pregnant by then), we celebrated at my nana-nani’s home with shared customs. There was lots of music, feasting and a Daawat-e-Walima. The joyous 10-day affair felt like a cultural mahotsav!”
Swara and Fahad were blessed with their first child in September 2023. They named the baby girl Raabiyaa.
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