It’s been a week since the time you welcomed your second child. Has the feeling sunk in that you are a mother of two now?
Our baby boy was due for arrival on Oct 7, but he arrived on Oct 3. He was in a rush I guess as he came ina few days earlier. You know when experienced people told me that having a second child would be twice as much hectic as having just one, I didn’t know they actually meant it! With two babies to take care of, everything has to be on double speed now. There is no time left for yourself as when one kid sleeps, the other one wakes up. Breast feeding is another ball game all together as you do it after ever three hours. So ideally I am feeding my baby throughout the day and night after every three hours. The toughest bit is the night as whenever I am about to sleep he wakes up and I feed him again.
How has the older sibling, Mehr, reacted to this new development in the family. How are you dealing with balancing attention between two kids as parents?
Mehr just knows that there’s a little baby that has arrived in the house. Just a couple of days ago she took her brother in her lap. As a kid she just sways between being caring towards him but at the same time being naughty. The other day he was fast asleep in his cot when she just came in and screamed out loud and woke him up. As parents we had decided that from the time the baby arrives we would give most of our attention to Mehr. That’s because, at their age they wonder that why the two people who loved them with all their heart are actually dividing time between them and the other person. So we are very conscious about not letting her feel misplaced at all. Though eventually I know we will be divided into teams…two against two. I have a feeling it will be Angad and Mehr versus me and our little baby boy. The former two are just inseparable. When Mehr doesn’t see Angad at home for a long time she literally behaves like a fish out of water.
You are one of those actresses in Bollywood that set an example of getting back to work soon after your delivery. Like, post you first pregnancy, within a few days you got back to work. When do you plan to return to work this time around?
On the ninth day, after Mehr was born, I was back at work. This time around I returned to work on the sixth day after the delivery. Yes, I already did two shoots at home. With the little baby around it was must for the team to do their tests and only then they stepped into the house. I personally feel that if you want a break then it is important to have one as recovery is very important. Child birth takes a lot from you. It is not easy. So, my advice is you give yourself time to recover. It’s just that I am extremely fond of what I do and I wanted to get back to work as soon as possible that I started working. Options like work from home have proven to be such a blessing in today’s day and age. Work is holy to me. I have worked my way up and there’s a long way to go. I feel like my entire career has been about just being relevant at all times – neither being extremely successful nor being invisible.
At the time when you delivered your first child, you had opened up about your postpartum stress. How are you dealing with the phase this time around?
I am still getting used to breast feeding once again in the night as it can get rather lonely as you are waking up when everyone is sleeping. Postpartum is something I still don’t see enough women or new mums talking about. I think people should reach out to people on this subject. Anything can trigger it like you see your body post delivery, once your baby is out you just feel so hollow or left out, things like breast feeding through the night or not being able to sleep or not knowing what to do when you have a crying baby in your arms. These are the things I am aware of now and so I am not letting them upset me. My experiences are being my own saviors. Very consciously I talk to myself and not let me slip into it. Right now I am holding up well and being absolutely fine. Getting back to your routine life sooner makes it much easier. Appreciating yourself as a mother is very important and I feel every new mum should do this like when you see yourself in the mirror just appreciate your body that has given life and don’t be hard on yourself. So whether you have stitches or stretch marks or a few extra inches around you… own it, because what you have done nobody else can do.
Have the two of you thought of a name for your son?
Mehr already has a cute little nickname for him, which I am not going to share right now (Laughs!). As far as the parents are concerned, there’s been a constant battle between us as both Angad and I have come up with a name. He is just too unaccommodating with my choice of name. So, may the best name win! As a family we are just looking at having an appropriate name for the boy. Mehr too got her name very naturally and organically. At the end of every message her grandfather (Angad’s dad) would write Guru Mehar Kare and that’s how we picked up Mehr as her name. Meanwhile, Angad and I had a good time doing up the room for out little boy. While he had a theme on his mind, which was circus, I chose a French theme. The décor comprises of hot air balloons, little fox and bunnies. We have a Simba carpet as Mehr is obsessed with the cartoon. Her cot is right next to little brother’s.
